I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
