Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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