I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
