Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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