You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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