Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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