There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's shark week go big or go home
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
