Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
