Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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