i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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