You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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