do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
