I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
