you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As shirtless as possible
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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