you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
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I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green