Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
