Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
