I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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