In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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