I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
