The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
