North Korea, Best Korea!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
