he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
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So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
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He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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