they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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