Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
