i just google imaged poop.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
