you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
