In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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