She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize