how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
