i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He shit in the fireplace
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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