So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize