well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize