Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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