Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
