I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
