exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
