did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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