The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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