I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
