If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
