White coat. Heels.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk