2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
