i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
