The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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