if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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