Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
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I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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