i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
