Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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