Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
