I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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