I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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