He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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