Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize