I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
