She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
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I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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