i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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