He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
