Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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