So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have tasted many bathrooms
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
