actually, I'm a sock model
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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