Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
